When you live in a major city and the dating options are boundless, there is always someone around the corner that is "perfect" or more perfect than the current person that you are dating. Next thing you know, you're in your late 30s and still single.
This only works if you stick with every partner long enough to get a perfectly accurate assessment of them as a long term mate, that your assements are perfectly objective, independent, and stable, and that you know n.
The amount of ifs, ands, and buts in this caveat means it's time to defer to one of my favorite xkcd's of all time. [0]
I always feel bad when I see these posts. I'm 26 and in a major city, but finding dates is a serious problem for me. My looks are only slightly below average (4/10) but my personality is probably the deal breaker.
Having been where you've been, may I suggest that the dealbreaker is that you're treating dating like a World of Warcraft inventory checklist? I wish someone had told me that when I was saying the same things.
FWIW, I do think there are similarities between dating and RPGs that I wish I had understood before
* you can improve your character: confidence is important, if you feel ugly sometimes you can do stuff about it (i.e. go to gym). Ditto if you are a boring talker, or if you are a poor listener.
* grind. If you are, like I was, a guy that has a couple hours on a weekend to meet a new possible date it's hard to find the "right" one. Try to increase the chances (go out more, frequent new places) and do try more.
This is fair enough and true. Back when I was in my early twenties and late teens I used to grind all the time (going out to bars and talking to women). And although I experienced more than my fair share of rejection/disinterest, I achieved plenty of success and abundance.
These days I am just lazily sending out messages on OKCupid. And when I do go out to bars, I almost never approach.
If you want excitement, you'll get excitement.
If you want stability, you'll get stability.
If you want to confirm an opinion of yourself as undateable - guess what, that's what you'll get.
Most people say they want one thing but actually don't work towards that thing. They just pay it lip service.
When you live in a major city and the dating options are boundless, there is always someone around the corner that is "perfect" or more perfect than the current person that you are dating. Next thing you know, you're in your late 30s and still single.