> a good trade off for geographic permanence and a lack of financial movement
Many people, even Americans, see things the opposite way. They don't like the idea of having to move far away from their parents to find a decent job, or have to uproot their families at the drop of a hat when a job ends.
I grew up in D.C., went to college and worked in Atlanta, went to graduate school in Chicago, got a job after in New York. My wife grew up in Oregon, went to college in Iowa, worked in Chicago and D.C., went to graduate school in Chicago.[1] Now we work in Wilmington and Philadelphia, and next year we're moving to Baltimore. This is the nature of the modern American economy, where you move around to find opportunities, but unless you're a single childless early 20-something it makes the rest of life very logistically complicated. Certainly among my friends, who are getting into their 30's, long-distance relationships are quite common and nobody is really thrilled about them.
[1] In comparison, my wife's parents grew up in the same city and went to high school together, less than 50 miles from where her dad's family settled during the wagon trail days.
This is certainly true of Americans in "upper middle class" culture, but how true is it for the rest? I went to an average / below average American high school, and most of my high school peers are still living in my hometown. It's only a subset of the highly ambitious among us who left (some who entered spread out professions like health stayed; engineers left).
And as an adult, many of my peers who grew up in economic centers like NYC and the SF Bay Area were able to stick around, regardless of profession.
Curious if you know married couples who have to be apart and how this affects their marriage? When both husband and wife have specialized jobs, it seems the choices are to compromise on one person's career or too live apart for at least some periods of time.
I don't know any married couples that live apart, but I know at least one very long relationship that broke up because people with two specialized jobs couldn't make their careers work in the same city.
But yeah, the constant tension compromising one person's career or living apart for substantial periods of time. This is especially true as competition becomes more national. 10 years ago I would've said that someone from Pennsylvania would be crazy to go to Stanford over CMU or Penn, assuming they wanted to work on the east coast. But today I probably wouldn't say that.
> When both husband and wife have specialized jobs
There's a name for this, which I first heard in academia, regarding couples who both hold a Ph.D.: "the two-body problem". It was usually applied when both sought academic jobs, but the concept applies to any sufficiently specialized hiring criteria. Pretty much all the solutions and compromises that you might imagine can and do happen. Being apart is pretty strenuous on a relationship, but some folks manage it for a time. Sometimes universities or other employers will hire both on simply in order to get a star candidate. Some manage to "solve" the problem -- landing satisfactory co-located positions on their own merits.
Many people, even Americans, see things the opposite way. They don't like the idea of having to move far away from their parents to find a decent job, or have to uproot their families at the drop of a hat when a job ends.
I grew up in D.C., went to college and worked in Atlanta, went to graduate school in Chicago, got a job after in New York. My wife grew up in Oregon, went to college in Iowa, worked in Chicago and D.C., went to graduate school in Chicago.[1] Now we work in Wilmington and Philadelphia, and next year we're moving to Baltimore. This is the nature of the modern American economy, where you move around to find opportunities, but unless you're a single childless early 20-something it makes the rest of life very logistically complicated. Certainly among my friends, who are getting into their 30's, long-distance relationships are quite common and nobody is really thrilled about them.
[1] In comparison, my wife's parents grew up in the same city and went to high school together, less than 50 miles from where her dad's family settled during the wagon trail days.