But - if you create an infinitely large closet, it will collapse into a black hole of infinite mass and pull the rest of the universe in on itself! Not only that, if you start with a completely full closet with numbered hangers and reach in for a shirt, all of the shirts will move forward one place, creating a new empty hanger even though the closet contains the same number of shirts and hangers! Which violates Conservation of Energy! That's not just an arbitrary rule, it's implied by the form of the quantum Hamiltonian! Rejecting it destroys unitarity and then you get FTL signaling -

What? They're trying to create a large finite closet? The universe is in no danger? Curse you, TechCrunch! Fooled again!